1. The very first thing I learned from my daughter is that I am definitely more scared and nervous than she is! She loves the stage and, while she will confess to being "a little nervous", I truly believe she lives for those moments under the lights. I, on the other hand, spend weeks (if not months) worrying that she will outgrow her costume before the performance (it has never happened, though after this year's growth spurt, it was close!), lose a shoe (again, it has never happened, but there is always a shoe around to borrow should the need arise!), fall down (it happened, hurt me more than her, audience was sympathetic, incident forgotten), break six bones the day before (again - mom's dread, not hers - she was jumping off playground equipment two days before). So, my first tip (and the one I have the hardest time remembering) is to RELAX and enjoy the show!
2. My second tip goes along with the first. Remind your child (boys have recitals too!) that everyone is there to see their dancer and to have fun. No one is there to criticize or look for mistakes. This tip goes for parents too! And by all means, don't be the one parent there who is critical of a dancer. Would you go on that stage, under those lights, in that outfit, and perform?
3. If needed, give your child some kind of token to remind them everyone is there to have fun and they are there because they love the child. This token can be anything - a kiss on the hand that can never be washed off, a special hair elastic or pin that you have kissed for love and luck, a heart drawn on the inside of a ballet shoe or, for very little ones, a small sprinkling of fine glitter in a dance shoe (magic fairy dust!) sometimes does the trick. Be creative, but also be careful not to interfere with the costume.
3 1/2. If you have a child that is shy about changing in front of strangers, consider investing in a nude leotard (they are very thin and fit very well under leos and costumes). This allows your dancer to change almost anywhere and no one will see anything! This saves having to drag sheets and blankets to hang up to make a "changing room".
4. My last tips have to do with what items to bring with you. It looks like a lot and you probably think you don't want to drag all that stuff, but, trust me, it will get used! And, while buying some of these items at the dollar store might sound like a good idea, it sometimes backfires! I will explain below:
- Extra tights. Tights develop runs at the most inconvenient times! This is one of those dollar store don'ts - cheap tights run easily, rarely fit correctly, and can be off color so they won't match the other dancers.
- Hem tape. You can find this in craft departments, fabric stores and dance wear stores. This is the duct tape of dancers! It will hold up hems, reattach sequins, flatten wrinkles, replace buttons, hold straps on shoulders, etc. I have even used it to fix a broken flower stem on the after dance rose bouquet. It is called Res-Q tape or Hollywood Tape and probably many other names, but it is invaluable. And it is much easier and faster to tape than stitch!
- Safety pins. No explanation needed. Again, better quality ones don't have as many burs or rough spots on them and go through satin and Lycra costumes more easily and without tearing.
- Scissors. Somebody will have a tag that is intolerably itchy, a thread hanging that when fidgeted with will completely disintegrate the entire costume (just kidding, but you get the idea), or a hair tie that is permanently entangled in their hair!
- Extra bobby pins. Again, this is one of those you get what you pay for items - the cheap ones bend out of shape and don't hold as well.
- Extra hair nets and hair ties. Just because.
- A pencil and scrap paper. Sometimes you just need one to make costume notes on lineup sheets, etc.
- And of course, your required makeup and hair gels, sprays, etc.
Some other things I have discovered along the way in this dance journey (this was all completely foreign to me when we started - I hated dance class as a child!):
- Good quality ballet shoes (and dance shoes in general) are not much more expensive than discount store shoes and they last longer, fit better, and look better.
- If your costume includes one of those cute little fringe skirts - DO NOT cut the stay threads that are holding the fringe together until the very last minute - unless, of course, you like untangling fringe into the wee hours of the morning!
- Costumes are fragile. They are not made so they can be washed and dried and played in without looking ragged.
- Costumes are ITCHY. I have not found a way around that except distraction and nice, soft, favorite clothes after the performance is over!
- Leotards and tights can be layered to make changing easier and quicker. It IS possible to layer a white leo over a navy blue one and no one was the wiser. Same goes for pink tights over tan. Just be sure to try your costume experiment at home or dress rehearsal first.
- Invest in a costume or dress bag. Your costume will stay neater and less wrinkled and it will make it easier to keep track of all the costume parts. And one of those multi-pocket travel organizers with the clear zippered pockets is great for all your extra stuff from the above list. It hangs right in the costume bag with the costume.
Last of all, have fun with your child and enjoy the show! They will only be this age once!
thanks for the tips! My daughter just had her recital yesterday. I was a nervous wreck!
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